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Dating Tip O' The Month
Get In the Short Line - Why December is Great For Dating
You walk into a McDonald's. You see two registers with a teenager behind each.
One register has three people waiting in line. The other register has none.
What do you do?
While it might seem obvious to go to the empty line, it's not that obvious. After all, there are 3 people standing in one line already. Perhaps there's something wrong with the other register. Maybe it's broken. Maybe it's closed. Maybe the teen is off duty.
It's a silly example, really, but most of us are inclined to go with the crowd. If everyone else is doing it, there's probably a good reason they're doing it. Better to follow along and not risk looking foolish than to put yourself out there and ask a dumb question.
I'm always the guy who asks the dumb question.
So if conventional wisdom suggests that December is a bad time to date, why would I disagree? Let's just say that my life experience suggests otherwise.
The reasons that people seem to turn off their dating efforts in December are the same as the reasons they turn off their job hunts. It's the wrong time. Companies aren't hiring until the new year. But this is EXACTLY why it's a perfect time to start a relationship.
People's energies aren't focused on work. They're focused on leisure, travel, family. And what inevitably happens when you go to a holiday party as a single person? You got it – you spend a lot of time thinking about how you don't have a relationship. So you scramble to find a date to the corporate fiesta. You book plans in the Caribbean with a friend in hopes of finding a vacation fling. You see your sister and her husband at the holidays and wonder when your time is gonna come.
So if December is a time when we're focused on leisure, on vacation, and on family, wouldn't it stand to reason that this is a perfect time to start making a connection?
Now you might think – "What the hell is he talking about? I'm too busy to worry about dating right now!" And, if that's your priority, then yes, you're too busy right now. For example, I'm always too busy to work out at the gym – although millions of others manage to find the time in their equally busy schedules.
Busy is just the excuse we give when we don't want to do something that we don't enjoy.
I've always enjoyed dating, which is why, when I was actively single, I found new relationships in December of 2003, December of 2004, and December of 2005.
And here's all I did: I made an effort when nobody else was making an effort.
You know how it works. You're on Match.com. You're corresponding with eight people. You don't care about five of them. The other three seem to fade in and out, depending on the day and the phase of the moon. December rolls around and you figure you'll just worry about your love life in the new year. Bad move.
If you find someone intriguing – especially if you met him/her online – this is the time to redouble your efforts. When everyone else is fading and flaking, that's when you need to step up.
I recall talking to a woman on the phone for an hour right before I left to visit my Mom in Florida. Instead of saying "I'll call you when I get back", I told her I'd check in while I was gone. Well, guess what? There's not much to DO when you're visiting your Mom in Florida. I could eat, watch TV, play board games, or read. And I did. But before I went to sleep each night, I called my new woman. And since she was three hours behind me, I'd talk to her until 2am. Seven nights of this and we were smitten.
When I returned to Los Angeles, she picked me up at the airport, although we'd never even met before. She instantly became my girlfriend.
I love that story, but this happened on three consecutive years – all because I made an effort to date while I was away in December.
So don't believe all the hype that says to shut down your love life in December.
Make an effort. Get in the short line. Your wait for love will be a helluva lot shorter.
Click below to take advantage of my special December dating discounts.
To read previous Dating Tips O' the Month, please check out our Archive.
For more advice from Evan, please visit www.evanmarckatz.com.
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