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Online Dating Tip O' The Morning
Is Your Profile Attracting the Wrong People? – Probably not.
You ever get an email from a person who is in no way, shape or form "qualified" to date you? A person who definitely didn't read your essays or look at your search criteria? A person who blatantly disregarded everything that you stand for, and still chose to write you anyway? Those people really get you angry, don't they?
I couldn’t care less about 'em.
Clients often ask me how to stop the wrong people from writing to them. Unfortunately, unless you're using Nerve Personals, which has an email filtering system, you're pretty much gonna have to be proficient with the delete button. Which isn't so bad, really. In fact, I tend to get a bit surprised at how upset people get at receiving email from the "wrong" people. They ask me what they need to change in their profiles to prevent these folks from making contact. They'll say things like, "What if I write 'No guys over 50' or 'No men without jobs' or 'No women with kids'?"
No, no, no, no, no.
Lines like that are not only super negative but are essentially a waste of time. How many guys actually heed your warnings, anyway?
Remember, profiles should be positive forms of advertising. For example, you'd never write "I'm not interesting. I sometimes forget to shower. I have a little problem with fidelity," and so on. You know better than that. You emphasize the good stuff and trust that a like-minded person will be intrigued. And usually, he will. But sometimes, no matter what your intentions, you're going to appeal to a less desirable demographic. Just know that it has nothing to do with you. It just comes with the territory.
So instead of thinking of your profile as something that's supposed to repel the wrong person, think of it as something designed to attract the right person. You want to get as many applicants as possible, because in that wide pool will be a handful of special people. You think Harvard gets upset when people with low SAT scores apply? No. They just throw those people in the reject pile and start evaluating more valedictorians.
In a free-for-all like online dating, everyone feels they have a shot. The old guys, the fat guys, the lecherous guys, the illiterate guys, the geographically undesirable guys, and so on. Whether we like it or not, that's 75% of the population right there. It only stands to reason that a few of them are gonna want to meet you. Don't blame them. Don't get upset. Don't tinker with your profile. Just delete and move on.
Online dating is a crapshoot as it is. It shouldn't be surprising when, from time to time, you end up with a little crap.
Want to know how to live this advice instead of just reading it and forgetting it?
Call me now at 866-432-9726 for some one-on-one dating coaching that will change your life.
To read about my private coaching packages, please go to www.evanmarckatz.com.
To read previous Online Dating Tips O’ the Month, please check out our Archive. |
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